You're looking damn good, son.
No wonder you're crazy about this boy.
He's the world's best dad.
And the world's best son.
Our biggest client
will be very satisfied with those designs.
Have you figured out the slogan?
Just like a movie.
The position of creative director is yours.
You'll get sex at home. - Oh.
He looks exactly like you, Toomas.
Damn it, boy. Go get a haircut!
You look like a slouch.
Class Reunion 3: Godfathers
I'm not to blame,
for all of this stuff still being here.
Mother didn't feel like taking anything,
when she moved out.
That Kristjan should have loads of money.
He should buy himself new things, damn it.
I think mother likes it,
because I've also slept in that bed.
And tell your mother
that I want all of these things back.
Maybe they won't believe it,
but I may need baby-stuff too one day.
Damn it.
Isn't it a little weird for this Kristjan,
that I've bought all of these things?
I don't think he cares.
Fuck him them.
I'll go down to wait for mom and Kristjan.
Hello there!
Yo! Loser, listen to the groove
and your friends will come help you move.
What? - It's a rap, damn it.
Rap... - What's that you're wearing?
What's that you're wearing?
I went cycling,
it's a special sweat repelling outfit.
Sweat smelling? - Sweat repelling.
It's a nice practical look.
It fits those shoes really well.
Andres, where is your bathroom?
What? Again?
We had to stop twice on the way here.
Are you some kind of serial-urinator?
I don't know, I'm lacking pressure lately.
Hey guys, could it be
from my dick recently just sort of resting
and not seeing any action?
Have you retired your willy early?
I don't know, Juta hasn't been in the mood.
I wonder why?
It's so sexy, when you constantly complain.
Ow, damn it, guys! My hand got caught.
Wow!
Is that for me? - Mhm.
Oh, how cute. - Yeah, she is super.
Do you have kids? - Nope.
It's time for you to get on it then. - Mhm.
So cute. – Can you not have children?
My partner or wife could, but...
You can always get a donor.
Her genes will stay in the family.
And mommy is coming.
Here, hold her. Hold her.
Should we ask now? - Yes, yes, Andres.
Would you like to be Ida's godfather?
What? - No, I mean thinking about Viktor.
Yes.
If something happened to Kristjan and me.
So the kids could stay together.
Yeah.
No, you can always decline.
He's not going to decline, right?
Very good, thank you!
I'm sure Viktor will be glad.
Yeah.
I found this in the bathroom. - Ah.
That's Monkey-Later.
Ida will definitely like it.
That is my monkey!
My grandmother knitted me that monkey.
And this monkey will stay in my family.
Ah? - Ah. - What?
It's easy for Kristjan to be generous.
But what do I have left?
And in addition to that I have to
go and celebrate their family.
But if they get smothered by a volcano
or sharks eat them alive
or a hedgehog array rolls them to death,
then I will have to
take care of their child?
Hey, their kid is Viktor's little sister.
Why is everything so shit for me?
Why can't something in my life happen
that's actually good?
Yes, it's Andres.
Yes, it's me.
My father had a stroke.
I hate that man.
It's not like he got sick on purpose.
He has never once
said anything nice about me,
He hasn't cheered me on or supported me.
Damn it, Mart, that clicking is annoying!
I can't do anything about it.
It's like a goat walking around. - A goat?
These are soft cycling shoes.
Hello. - Hello.
Andres Vassiljev. - Ah, Vassiljev.
Greetings. - Hello.
Your father had a stroke.
He's lost his ability to move and talk.
He can't speak at all anymore?
That old bastard.
Still forces you to pity him.
Well, he is still your father.
Absurd.
Used to be a doctor and now he's lying here.
Well, everyone can have an accident.
In the same way, someone could
steal a wallet from a police officer.
A plumber could get a blockage.
And a cyclist could end up with
his shoes up his rear end. - Yeah.
What? - Quiet now.
I want to be sure,
that he really can't say anything.
Aksel.
Say "ladder".
He's silent.
But look at him stare.
The only reason I was playing handball,
was to make him happy.
But did he ever come to see my games?
The only reason he ever showed up,
was to hit on the mothers of other guys.
I think I need to go to the bathroom.
Come on, you just went 5 minutes ago.
What's going on in your pants?
Hey, lift up the bed,
I got my thing stuck here.
At the same time Anne is enjoying her life
with her super husband and super child.
And I must wipe the ass of a mean old man.
Oh lord, dear lord, sorry.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
What are you doing here?
I had to go to the bathroom, sorry.
Are you insane? You're killing people here.
But again, where is the bathroom here?
Straight and to the left.
Mart is having trouble with his bladder.
Maybe you could take a look at him too?
Come on boy, show your willy!
What was that?
He's probably hungry or needs the toilet.
Tom listen.
Maybe you can adopt my father with Hanna?
Don't have to deal with the donor thing.
He's just like a baby.
Just a little bigger. - Stop it, man.
This is the end.
Take this lump and go home!
Then I have no chance to meet anyone.
On top of that I'm also going to be
some sort of joke of a godfather?!
Stop it, please!
Even if I was on a deserted island,
I would have no chance with any woman.
This woman
would rather have sex with a palm than me.
Leave that GigaDesign talk be.
Other women would support their husband,
or at least console him.
Mart, what are you talking about?
That's unfair...
Damn it!
Mart, guess what I just thought of? - Huh?
What are you doing? - Talking to Juta.
Aha, okay.
What are we doing?
Let's go to the tantric-camp in Kauksi.
There's a lot of beauties interested in sex.
Tarty-what?
Tantric-training, you moron.
That's some sort of sex training then?
That's exactly what Andres needs.
He goes there, gets himself a girl
and goes to the baptism with her.
And you think that in that tantric-training
Andres would have a chance to find someone?
Of course.
If you would also come along,
I would have some kind of chance.
Toomas is famous and you...
Yeah? - Well, next to you
I seem to be optimistic and funny.
Thanks.
Hey, we're just the backup.
We'll go there and heat up the girls
and pump Andres full of testosterone.
Wait, wait, what will I tell Juta?
That I'm going to that, what's it called?
Tantric-camp.
I don't know, we'll think of something.
Just don't start complaining again.
And you have to do it now?
Repairs on Andres’ summer home?
Yes, well, Andres needs help.
Are you taking all of these pretty shirts
to impress Andres there?
No, they're for the baptism.
All of them? - Yes.
You know how much I sweat. It's...
Yeah...
You better take these, handyman, and wait.
You can take these with you as well then.
Maybe you'll need them. - Yes.
Shake yourself dry quick, fireman.
I've been ready for a long time already.
It's good that we're not finding you a girl.
Ah, damn it.
What are those cans you've got there?
We were going to your place to do repairs.
Let me take them myself.
Nice suit you have there.
Oh, thank you.
You're not gonna get any chicks like that.
Don't insult Monkey-Later.
Monkey-Waiter, what's that name?
His name is "Later".
I'm not going there with a random chick.
I'm going to take my chosen one there.
Did you forget something?
Toomas, I can't wait any longer.
You have to decide.
Let's talk about that later, huh?
About the donor?
He's not sure he wants kids at all.
We'll help him figure it out.
Do it, please.
Don't come back until you're sure.
Got it? - Hanna.
We're on your side.
Alright, let's go then.
He doesn't care about anything else,
he wants to go to the fuck-school.
He wants to get laid.
I want to get laid.
He wants to get laid.
This trailer thing was a great idea.
Makes the cottage repair more believable.
We're not taking it to the tantric-camp?
Forget about it.
We'll get rid of it as soon as possible.
What do you have in there anyway?
Bicycles?
I wish that was the case.
The care home has an opening in a month.
This mummy has no one, but me.
You put your dad in a horse trailer? - Yes.
The dog house was too small.
That's a cute father-son relationship.
We have to get him into the care home.
Do you hear me? - Yes, yes.
Let's take him there now then.
You can just take him here
and then just leave him, eh?
One old fart more or less.
What difference does it make?
Sorry!
I think you forgot something. - Yeah?
What could that be?
You forgot this gentleman.
What gentleman?
No, I don't know anything about him.
How so? I don't know anything about him.
Are you sure?
Everyone looks alike here.
I think it's you and him,
that look oddly similar to each other.
Hello.
Say "mhm", if you know me.
He has no idea, who I am.
Please take this man with you and leave.
Listen, this...
He's well behaved. - Get going.
Or I will call the police.
No, easy, easy. - Damn it!
Is that much to ask? - Relax.
You pay taxes all your life and then
you can't even leave your father somewhere.
What? Yeah.
Oh god, god, sorry.
Let's get out of here.
I'm sorry.
Thank you! Thank you Estonia!
How caring! - Mart, come help!
Come help, god, god.
I'm sorry.
What are you doing here?
I'll just leave him here in a gas station.
Stop it! - Okay.
If he comes along, we'll say that he's yours.
My father - Yeah.
Let him stare at you with his blank eyes.
Okay, but in that case
we have to make it safer for him in there.
Tom.
Hot chick at nine o'clock, over.
She's pregnant and with her husband, over.
Is the guy pretty? Over.
What kind of a question is that?
Maybe he's fit to be your donor, over.
Tom, can you hear? Tom?
That's a great model by the way.
I had the same kind when Saara was born.
It shows video as well.
Do you have a gift for the baptism?
Now I do.
Wait, let's get something for Aksel too.
He'll get bored in the trailer alone.
What do you think, is this okay?
Do you have any preferences?
What do you mean, whether I prefer
little tight peaches
or a juicier kind of melons?
Let's start with hair colour.
That doesn't matter.
But she has to be better than Anne.
Wait, wait, wait.
Guys, stop messing around. Andres, damn it!
What are you doing over there?
Sorry, had a little deviation.
Think about us a little too!
Hey, your father soiled himself.
I need to change his diaper, stop the car.
Soiled himself, big deal, change it then.
It's your father after all.
Guys, stop the car!
Hey, maybe I should
start growing out my hair?
Like a young Jaak Joala with his nice hair.
Wait, wait, wait.
Damn, why are you messing around like that?
Hey guys, stop messing around,
there are cans of paint in here. - Shut up.
Well, well, well. That's better.
Damn it! - What are you doing there?
Did you hit all the potholes on purpose?
You're like a fly in a pig pen.
Why the fuck are you laughing?
Let me out of here!
Help me, I can't, damn it!
Beautiful, right?
She works here. - So what?
It's her job here,
she's not into the tantric sex thing.
You don't have time to take random chances.
Right, I won't smile to her anymore.
Hello. - Hello.
Your key. - Thank you.
If you need anything else, let me know.
Likewise.
Modern art.
What was that supposed to mean?
You told me not to mess with her.
I'm not trying to find a woman here,
I can mess around all I want.
You need a sperm donor.
A woman can't help you with that.
Hello. - Hello.
The thing with having a child is,
that I need to be completely sure,
that my thing with Hanna is even working.
What do you mean?
I need to test myself with temptations.
What temptations?
I need to go as far as possible,
to see if I can say "no."
I intend to get as close as possible,
so she'll have no chance to say "no".
Look, he moved!
No he didn't, definitely not.
Finally, I feel refreshed.
Who is going to sleep with who?
Andres and I decided over here,
that we'll sleep in the same bed
and you'll be in the other with your dad.
He snores like crazy by the way.
I have to rest for the ladies.
You damn pigs, not noblemen.
I wouldn't mind it,
if Toomas and Aksel slept together. - No!
Definitely no, what?
Dear tantric-trainees,
I'm waiting for all of you in five minutes
at the forest stage auditorium.
Let's go.
Hey, wear something more normal.
Unless you want to ruin everything.
Yeah, you look like a scarecrow,
that gets mocked by the other scarecrows.
Yeah! - My best outfit
flew into the trashcan because of you.
Now there are two options.
Either homeless or a psych-ward patient.
Which one do you think will stay?
You know what, wait.
Have you been boiling these pants?
They're so damn tight.
That's the right way, douchebag.
You'll mess up your nuts like that.
Too late for that.
Unbelievable!
Everyone is here to learn how to have sex.
You'll have plenty of chances here
to turn down temptations.
Welcome to the tantric-camp.
To start off, can I just ask,
how many of you here are single?
Raise your hands!
Unbelievable, everyone is single.
Understood.
I have to add then, that our course here
is not meant for finding partners.
Tantric isn't just about sex.
What tantric actually means
can be the polar opposite of sex.
We're cleansing our senses
and pushing ejaculation far into the future.
We're lengthening the pleasure.
While not losing our energy.
Lovers can lie together for years
without an eruption.
In that way, sex for them
is just like meditation.
It's the intertwining of their bodies.
At the deepest level.
And we've got different courses here for that
with yoga and meditations.
A massage course.
Yes, please?
Where's your bathroom here?
Sorry.
Cool pants.
Do they also make them in your size?
I don't know, meditation or yoga?
Let's go where they are going.
Hello my dear and beloved. - Hello.
Today we're going to take you
to the kitchen of the tantric world,
if that's a way to say it.
For that, we're going to try together
to open this chakra over here.
It's over here and it's very important.
First off... Namaste. - Namaste.
Follow me exactly.
We start with the sun salutation.
Get down on your hands,
and feel your glutes.
And feel your core, that you have here.
Yes, like that. Now butts up to the sky.
Nicely towards the sky.
Let's feel the energy.
And let's press ourselves through down here
with a nice big arch.
Let's say "Hello, Sun." - Hello, Sun.
And the Sun says back,
"Hello dear, I love you.
You deserve this world and I deserve you."
Yeah, the Sun is happy.
Again, let's get down. Now we're cats.
The cat is angry.
Oh, this cat is so angry. The cat is angry.
Now the cat rests.
Now I feel the lower chakras.
Let's feel the upper chakras.
Something is very wrong.
We're in the front row. - They're opening.
Hold it, hold it.
Holding the energy, the cat rests.
Now, let's do another Sun Salutation.
Butts towards the sky. Hold it.
Hey, that one would do.
Let's hold it. Very nice.
And now... - Sorry,
I found this old man outside.
Who is he with?
Yes, he is with us.
With me, I mean.
Just a little misunderstanding.
The old man can stay with us, let him be.
Breathe, breathe.
Let's feel our glutes.
Feel the glutes, feel the lower body.
And hold the energy.
Feel it, hold it, hold it.
Now the cat rests.
What is this supposed to mean?
Breathe, don't forget to breathe.
I don't know, maybe she likes it,
the way Mart handles his father.
Of course, damn it.
You're doing very well.
So, old man, let me massage you as well.
And now let's all find a partner.
Do you want to pair up? - Yes, yes.
So, everyone has found themselves a partner.
One of the pair lies down on their stomach.
And the other moves their hands slowly
across their partner's body.
Slowly.
Hold it.
Very good, hold back the arousal.
Hold the energy.
Mmm, what a nice butt.
I don't think I've seen it myself.
What are you doing, man?
I need a girlfriend.
Don't worry, I'm not interested in her.
What's that about now?
No, no, it's not about you.
He's not interested at all. He is...
How to say...
He doesn't find women attractive.
Aha, okay, I get it.
Thank you.
Damn it, you basically told her,
that I am gay. - So what?
Do you have something against gay people?
What kind of Nazi talk is that?
What do you have against gay people?
Nothing, quite the opposite. - Well then.
Then it was right, you like that gay thing.
Damn you. - Mart, I never knew.
Hey, it's nothing to be ashamed of.
Hey, Tom,
you have to really hold on to your soap now.
It's so fucking funny, so funny.
I'm just saying, that I want a woman
to look at me like that as well.
You didn't come here to find a woman.
You don't have to be a godfather.
Tom doesn't either. - Tom?
Tom is the decoy.
Maybe I want to be a decoy as well.
I haven't tempted anyone in a long time.
Not even my own wife.
At least you have a wife. - Yes.
Hey, deal with it,
you're a gay guy with a tempting butt.
Fuck you. - Exactly.
Jesus, you've forgotten to shave.
Shaving is so outdated now.
Lumberjack balls are in fashion now.
Short on top, long underneath.
Get it, like a beard downstairs.
A downstairs beard, get it?
Like the balls of a Christmas elf?
Guys, is it just me, or is that guy
smiling at me in a weird way.
Everything's working, butt magnet.
Thanks. - You're welcome.
It's like breakfast at a strip club.
In today's art class, we'll be focusing on
drawing nudes.
Please.
What the fuck?
I'm not going to draw any sausages.
Screw the guy, focus on the women.
It's impossible to make eye contact
with that wiener out there in front.
You still doubt the donor thing?
That it won't be like your child?
What do you mean like, it won't be. - Yes.
It's good that it's the child of some stranger.
You can go to some random pub
and pick out a guy as a donor,
who has much better genes than you do.
Andres. - If you want to be sure.
You should pick me as the donor.
You? - Why not me?
Hey, stop it.
I am a completely healthy man.
And I've always liked Hanna.
You wouldn't get into bed with her. - Why?
Yeah, no, of course.
Yes, please?
Where is the closest bathroom here?
Sorry.
You wouldn't want to have a son like that,
who is leaking like he is.
What are you doing? - Mart, what?
I was dreaming that you were that woman.
I think I am going crazy.
I have to tie you to the bed.
That would be BDSM, not tantric.
Good night.
Pervert.
Why are you wearing those pillowcases?
These are Aksel's trousers,
yours were so tight,
that my nuts are still aching.
Maybe you left them in the leather pants,
when you took them off.
Wait, where are my trousers then?
Papa is very pleased.
Open your mouth up now.
Here comes the airplane.
I fed Viktor the same way.
Now that GigaDesign guy
is playing a happy family with my son.
Wait, that Kristjan
is connected to GigaDesign?
He's the CEO of GigaDesign.
What? - The CEO.
GigaDesign is the place,
that I wanted to get a job at.
With Kristjan? - Well, yes.
Congratulations for avoiding that boss.
I'm thinking, that at the baptism
maybe he'd talk to me a little,
and maybe he'd invite me to an interview.
Stop whining.
Focus on your primary mission.
We have to find me a woman today.
Otherwise I'm not going to the baptism.
Hey, look.
That meditation chick is pretty good.
She's free-spirited, eh?
Her? - Yeah.
It doesn't have to be a long relationship.
Just for the duration of the baptism.
Maybe long enough for you to get
your job interview done with Kristjan?
You know what?
I'll go check what she's signed up for
and you make the plan to chat her up.
What plan? - A little guide for Andres
so he knows which buttons to press.
Today we connect to the senses
of beauty and sensitivity,
through oriental paper crafts.
Through folding.
You can craft for your yoga partners
a wonderful origami.
Later, we talk about feeling the material.
In terms of the human body.
So, I'll give each of you a piece of paper.
Spread them around, you have scissors.
And think about the bird or animal or thing
that you want to create.
You bring your father with you everywhere?
You wouldn't want to sit in a corner either
Yeah, yeah.
My dad's always been my best friend.
Rita. - Yes?
Andres. Oh, sorry. I'm sorry.
Don't worry, I'm used to sharpnesses.
Yes? Me too.
That meditation earlier.
You were really good at it.
You're very flexible.
Really? - Yes.
What are you making? - No...
It just came out like this when I saw you.
You know, I'll just say it,
I have no reason to play around.
I think we could really have something.
No? - Yes.
Yeah.
And I think moving forward,
we could pair up for all the exercises.
Yes. Together. Paired up.
Sorry.
I thought I'd call to double check,
Viktor here is very concerned already.
You haven't changed your mind about coming?
What? What did the kid say again?
Listen... - Talk to the kid yourself.
Yes, hello? - Hey, dude.
What? Of course I'll be there.
Yeah, dad, great.
And tell your mom, I won't be alone.
Mom already knows you'll bring grandpa.
Grandpa? Tell her,
that I'm coming with my new girlfriend.
Liar! - Is that so unbelivable,
that I could have a girlfriend too?
But mom says...
Mom says, mom says.
Tell her that I'll come with my girlfriend
and that's it, bye.
You shut up.
Let's get out of here.
Follow me in one minute.
A woman and a top-notch one too.
Let's go, papi.
Stop braking.
She's got multi-coloured hair
and a dress with a deep cleavage.
Please find her
and tell her that I'll be there later.
Damn it, damn it.
Sorry. Damn it.
What are you typing?
A hot doctor chick gave me her number.
What? Huh?
In case the bandage needs securing.
Damn idiot.
Juta, shit.
Yes, dear?
Wait, wait a moment.
Juta found out we're not at the cottage.
What do I tell her now?
Give me that.
Hey Juta, this is Andres.
Don't worry, but Mart is in the hospital.
No, no, no. It's nothing bad.
You know, he has to have his
ding-dongs checked out.
His bottom half is leaking a bit.
Give me that. - You mean where?
We're here in the Jıhvi hospital.
Don't come here.
We're here, we'll take care of him.
He'll call you back,
as soon as everything is fine.
Wait, give me that. - Bye.
You could have thought of something better
than a hospital, really now.
Now let's go find my girlfriend.
Hey, guys.
Juta's parents are coming here.
Where? - Well, here.
They live near here.
Oh, what do we do now?
Hello, we're here to see Mart Saag.
I'll check right away.
To see Mart Saag? - Yes.
His room is over there,
but don't stay for too long,
the patient needs his rest.
I told you that the cake was a bad idea.
Oh please, stop grumbling.
It's so nice that you came.
We had to go to the market,
but nana thought it's not fitting,
if you're stuck lying here in the hospital.
Don't worry, I'll manage,
so go to the market. - No, no, no.
How could we possibly
leave you lying here alone?
Papi, give me the knife. - Yes, nana, yes.
How long are they going to stay there?
Looks like they're here to spend the weekend.
I'm getting tired, I'd like to rest now.
So, we need to get rid of this Chlamydia.
Chlamydia?
Mart boy!
But you're Teodor?
He's our son-in-law and he's Mart Saag.
Oh, I'm very sorry,
I'll get a new analysis for you right away.
I can't help being such a magnet.
You're not a magnet, you're sick.
So you have trouble urinating.
Well, yeah.
A little, occasionally, sometimes.
I do a lot of sports
I eat cauliflower and broccoli,
pumpkin seeds.
Hello, we're from the surgery department,
this is an intern
could we stay and look around?
Yes, please, please.
We're moving through the penis
and the prostate.
It's like an adventure movie.
Indiana Jones in the lost coal mine.
That's what I thought.
Please turn to your side.
Can you check please, yes, with a finger?
What? - Go on, young man.
Push it in. - What, where?
Your finger into his rear tunnel.
Up yours. - Okay.
I'll do it myself then.
So.
Lube.
You don't say.
Did you notice the swollen prostate?
Yes, it's quite large.
It's a benign growth,
but I recommend surgery anyway.
Do we have enough time for that?
We can do it right away,
it's an easy procedure.
Easy, yeah. How long does it take?
Half an hour. He'll be home by the evening.
Evening? - Yes, you can remove your finger.
I'll go check the timetables,
while you remove the camera from his penis.
Wait, easy, carefully.
What? Is it stuck?
I do not have time to wait.
Wait, dumbass, it hurts.
Ow, ow, you're hurting me!
I've got a jackpot waiting for me.
A woman I couldn't even dream of
but now I'm here instead
touching some idiot's ass and willy.
Wait. - Wait, wait.
You're going to tear it off, wait!
Dear lord!
I don't know, it's bothering me a little,
that we left Mart behind over there.
Hey, he'll be sedated,
he won't even know we've gone away.
We'll be back before they finish surgery.
Here you are.
You can't leave him everywhere.
Yes, Tom, take your father to the room.
I have to get to Rita, you understand.
I can take it from here.
This place is nice. - Yes, it is.
Rita.
It's Andres.
Rita! - Don't come in!
I know I let you wait for a long time...
but I broke my finger.
See?
Hold it, hold it!
Don't finish yet!
We're practicing right now.
Get out of here!
Oh.
Ow. - Give me your hand.
Well, 1, 2, 3.
We're back to square one. - Ow, damn it.
What are you whining about?
I lost the love of my life because of you.
I should be whining.
You are though, so that's all right.
I won't be able to go to the bathroom
without screaming my entire life.
Serves you right! You will scream.
You'll be holding your willy in your hands
and think about what you did to my sex life.
What are you doing there? - Huh?
I'll go out for a little jog.
A little? - Yes, a little.
Since when did you start jogging?
Is Tom ready? - Tom?
What? You're going jogging with that woman,
while I've been abandoned and mocked?
Hey, find yourself someone else,
who is in heat now, eh?
Go, go, go. Go, go, go!
Fuck!
We're starting from a clean slate.
We'll find you a woman.
You're starting to ruin all our lives.
This tantric-camp is the worst place
for finding a woman.
There's always some hornbag in the way.
We could get rid of the competition then.
Dear women of this tantric-camp,
you're invited to Toomas Karjend's
intimate tantric-concert,
where you can hear hits
like "A kiss on the grass",
and "I'm free tonight" tantric-remixes.
Thanks, thank you everyone.
Tantra-thanks...
The next song is from my first album.
Maybe most of you won't remember it...
How much longer are you going to sing?
Have you completely forgotten about me?
Yes, yes, but before that,
I want to introduce my good friend Andres.
Andres has been a big inspiration to me.
Do you want more? - Ah, yes.
Andres will tell you about his life,
how he's the godfather of his ex-wife's kid
and how he cares for his disabled father.
Andres, please.
I am Andres. Yes, tantric-hello.
He is my handicapped father.
He can't talk at all? - No.
He doesn't even swear anymore.
You could say, that he's quiet as a mouse.
Jesus, I thought you were married.
I am, but sometimes you have to be able to
look at your marriage from a distance.
You're a man with a big heart then, yeah?
Mhm.
Wait, just a moment.
Dad, what are you staring at?
Let's rewind to the point,
where you said I have a big heart.
That's the way it is,
You spend your whole life working hard
and someone else comes to take the glory.
A total... - Ok, this is not happening.
What?
Wait, you think
that I'm hitting on you? No.
No, but honestly, you'd have no chance.
What do you mean?
Not that I want to, but wait,
you've only seen me in borrowed clothes.
No, it's not about the clothes, sweetie.
You're petty. - Petty?
And fucking self-centered.
And you're sure it's not the clothes?
Hey, I'm not interested...
Petty? Self-centered?
Hey, I don't want to attract gays!
But well, still...
Damn it.
Damn it, Mart!
What are you doing here? - Tom?
The fuck are you doing here?
I'm just in a bush here.
Hanna loves you
and wants to have children with you.
Wants to, but can't have them with me.
It's not Hanna's fault,
that you can't have children.
You're a petty and self-centered guy,
if you let your troubles,
ruin Hanna's chances to have kids.
Okay, gentlemen, is this a pause
or are we finished here?
Your father!
There's nothing wrong with him.
His chair, his... look!
Relax, he's perfectly fine.
He's on fire, damn it!
Father, damn it!
A sickly need for attention!
Never any peace!
Lord, what happened now?
I can't do it anymore!
I'm not going to the baptism!
You would regret that.
You can all go to hell!
Maybe we should do something?
He'll come out.
Pointless.
Everything is completely pointless.
Shit, she should have been here by now.
She better have, for that kind of money.
How will we recognize her?
I don't know, don't know.
Let's hope everything works out.
She’s Here. - Here.
Now it's going to get hot.
Hey, that’s her. - Wow.
Holy shit.
How did we not
spot something like that before?
Hello.
You remind me of someone.
Really?
Sorry, I didn't mean to.
I feel like you're the one,
that I've been looking for.
Are you from the tax-office?
Stop it, loser, she likes you.
You could invite her with you somewhere.
Take the miss with you. - To the baptism.
Yeah? - Yes.
Yes? - Yeah.
Tell me, what turns you on about me?
Well, I don't know.
His dazzling personality maybe?
His open-minded attitude?
Don't tell her what to say, okay?
You tell me.
That's it.
I didn't get those qualities from you, eh?
Oh, hello son!
Wait for it!
Allow me to introduce, this is Niina.
Unbelievable, yeah?
Where are mother and Kristjan?
In the tent, preparing for the party.
Okay, relax.
I'll go and do the rounds,
go and greet people.
Hello, friends.
I'm happy to see you.
Mart, that's enough. - Huh?
Anne, so...
This is Niina.
Pleasure to meet you.
Where will we put the gift?
By the way, I picked out the gift.
I'm giga-good at it. - Okay, okay.
Maybe you can go help Anne?
We'll go set up the tables with Toomas.
I'm giga-good at setting up tables.
This place is great, it's giga-great.
Mart, come.
I just found out,
that I'm in the same business as Kristjan.
Mart, no one talks business at a baptism.
Well, yeah.
Wow, princesses.
Look, here's my princess.
Niina, watch and learn.
Wow, let's go. Hello!
And my future Niina. Yes, yes.
This is Andres, Ida's godfather
and my girlfriend, Niina.
Yeah. - Congratulations.
Stop, my woman, Niina.
Sorry, can I borrow Andres for a moment?
I already introduced her to you.
Yes, a few times.
I'm happy for you, Andres.
Thank you. Congratulations on the baptism.
Viktor was so happy,
that you agreed to be the godfather.
Of course, of course.
I actually wanted to ask you
to hold Ida for a little while,
so she gets used to you before the baptism.
Or do you not have the time?
Yes, yes, I have time, of course.
Hold her tight then, yeah? - Yes, yes.
Yeah, yeah.
This is uncle Andres, your godfather.
Look at how pretty my girlfriend is.
Yeah, look, Niina.
So cute, so cute.
We met Anne in baby-school.
Such a cute little thing. Hello, hi.
Will she be baptised too? - No.
We are buddhists.
Buddhists? Salam a leikum...
Damn, totally cold.
Hey, I'm not paying you
to play with your phone here.
I think you told me
to act naturally.
Naturally and in love.
I told you right away,
to take the one with the big teeth.
Hey, do you need any help?
Thanks, I got it myself.
Yeah, no, I could do it myself too.
I like both solo
and teamwork.
Tom, what did you tell her to do?- What?
Definitely not that.
What are you doing? - I want you.
Dear lord.
She's not going to
fuck over this entire baptism, is she?
I want you too. Let's find another place.
Come, come, come.
Let's put you here, shh, shh.
Dad! We need to talk.
Wait a bit!
Your mother asked me to befriend Ida.
How's that going? - Very well.
Very well, we're becoming friends already.
With Niina too.
Go now, hurry, hurry.
Tell them, I'll be there in a minute. - Okay.
Wait, take this with you too.
Go, go, go!
Hurry, hurry!
Yes...
Shh, shh, quiet, be quiet.
Give uncle Andres a chance, okay?
Shh, shh, shh.
And... Damn it!
Can't get a moment of peace.
Wait, wait, wait.
Be a good kid now,
uncle Andres just needs 5 minutes.
For a moment, to do some adult business.
Okay, four minutes.
I don't know what can't you understand?
Rejecting touches? That's wrong.
A blowjob at a baptism? Even more wrong.
It's too complicated.
You need to do something in between
completely ignoring and raping him.
It's easy.
If it's so god damn easy,
and you're so fucking smart, you do it.
Wait. - Where are you going?
And here's our godfather.
Look, our pastor wants to talk to you.
Hello, it's a pleasure.
As I understand,you're the divorced husband
of the child's mother?
Yes. - It's so great,
that you've found a place in your heart
for the new family of your son.
Yes, very nice. - Becoming a godfather
means taking on a lot of responsibility.
Of course, I... - We now have to
go over the baptising process.
My woman.
Yes, I promise to tell him about Jesus
and Christ and the Holy Spirit
and everything else and yes.
Good, I'll tell Anne, that we're ready.
Yeah!
Andres. - Hello, where are you?
We thought we'd make a quick trip.
Do you know where Niina is?
She's with us, yeah.
She wanted to get new shoes.
The ones she has right now are exhausting.
Wait, don't tell me you took the car?
The car, yeah.
Then Ida is with you.
What? - Ida is in the trailer, damn it!
Dad, the baptism is about to begin.
Andres, where is Ida? - Ida?
Toomas and Mart
are taking her around, in the carriage.
But they took the car?
The car? - Yeah.
They took the car. - Where is my child?
Andres, tell me you didn't leave her,
when you were making out with your girl.
Alright, I'll bring her right over here.
What do you mean "half an hour"?
Are you kidding me?
Hey, don't be crazy, stop messing around.
Drive carefully.
Maybe we should turn around
and take Ida back there?
If we go back without this Niina,
Andres will blow up the entire party.
Finally.
Wait, I left the diapers in the restroom.
I'll be right there.
Go take them with you, follow me.
Dad, what are you doing there?
I'll be right there, I forgot to shave.
Come, uncle Andres will make you pretty.
Sorry.
We have gathered here today,
to baptise little Ida.
Could we wait a little bit longer,
for my girlfriend to get here?
She went to buy new shoes.
Okay, okay. Let's start.
Could you unwrap her a little,
so we could see the baptismal dress?
Well, of course.
Can't do any more, she'll get cold.
Your father is a little overprotective.
Andres, do you swear,
to reject Satan and his handiwork?
No.
What? Yes, of course, yeah.
And to serve only the almighty God?
Sorry.
We have a little emergency.
Ida.
She did a number two.
Kristjan has probably
put her diapers on wrong.
I'll be right back.
Shh, shh, shh.
Is everything okay?
Yeah.
The sun was shining onto her.
I pushed her to the shade, it's all okay.
Sleeping like a log. - I'll take a look.
Don't look. You'll wake her up.
Let's go back. Ida is fine too.
Go, go, go. - Okay.
Everyone is waiting. - Yes, go, go.
Idiot! - What?
Me, not you!
I forgot the pacifier, you go.
Tell them we'll be right there. Go, go.
That didn't take long.
And we're back, Ida and me.
Do you believe in Jesus Christ,
the only son of our Lord,
who has suffered under Pontius Pilatus,
been crucified, died
and arisen again on the third day
and who sits on the right hand of God,
his almighty father,
to judge over those
both living and dead?
Is that a trick question?
I'm sorry?
I'll just say "yes."
Yes.
Because we believe in the Holy Spirit,
the Holy Christian Church, the Holy Trinity,
the forgiving of sins,
the resurrection of flesh
and eternal life.
It's just warm enough.
What did you agree on?
I'll pay her another 200 an hour.
What is the name of the child?
Niina.
I'll ask again.
What is the name of this child?
The name of this child should be...
Ida.
I baptize you in the name
of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Amen.
Whoa?
Your dress is covered in hair.
Before you return the child to the parents,
I'll mention the obligations as godparents.
I have to give the child back then?
Yes, I'm sure they'll be happy about it.
Yes.
Sorry.
Take it, take it.
Give me, give me. - Wait, what?
Wait, wait.
Wait. - What are you doing?
What are you doing? Dear lord.
The hat.
Yes.
May the Lord bless you and care for you.
May the Lord smile upon you
and be merciful to you. Amen.
Damn, you did it, dummy.
What's that supposed to mean?
Ah, no, that's okay.
It's for the new shoes, the payment.
She's got the same old shoes on.
Does she?
What did you pay her for?
She's a prostitute?
No, not really, well...
In what way then? - Hey, Andres,
stop it, there are people here...
My girlfriend is a prostitute. - Relax.
A prostitute girlfriend! - Easy, easy.
This is my card, name, phone number.
And by the way, I do couples too.
You bastards. - Relax, relax.
Kristjan will think that you've gone mad.
Afraid that I'll ruin your career chances?
Screw the career,
I'm worried about you, you moron.
Andres!
Ida was just baptised and you're yelling.
Ida didn't get baptized.
Ida was in the car with these idiots,
as they went shoe shopping for the hooker.
I'm not to blame,
that these two let me down.
Of course it's your fault,
it's because you're just so dumb.
Can't feel worthy without a woman.
Want me to say why that is? - Well?
It's because this man over here,
has never cared about anyone else.
What do you want to do now?
It's a bit late for him to change now.
He can't even turn around anymore.
Why is everything so fucked up for me?
You're no better than your own father.
Now he hates you just as much,
as you hate your father.
Viktor, wait!
I regret everything!
I'm sorry! Viktor!
Wait, I'm sorry!
I regret everything!
Viktor!
I promise I'll always be there for you.
Everything is alright.
Viktor...
Damn it!
Everything is fine.
I understand, if you hate me now.
I don't hate you.
I just think,
that you are a terrible father.
Maybe we can get the parson back,
to get Ida actually baptised?
No, that's a bad idea.
Maybe...
I'll leave everything as it is.
Let's do something together.
Let's go to the countryside! No, hiking!
Just the two of us.
Or even better, let's go fishing.
Father and son. Let's put on the waders
and make porridge and watch the sunrise.
Look, here they are.
Quiet, shh.
Wait.
You think so? Let's do that.
Grandpa thinks,
that I should give my monkey to Ida.
Monkey-Later
has belonged to all the kids in our family.
Give your little sister a kiss.
Let's take grandpa too.
The leakage has moved up here now.
So Aksel won’t need that thing anymore?
Maybe Hanna and I can have it?
Take it.
Tom, listen.
Can I be the godfather of your child too?
You're all a bunch of real shitheads.
I've got friends here.
Oh jeez. - What is it?
Did you shave everything off down there?
If you shave, you will score.
You won't get any action with your bush.
A class reunion is the kind of event,
where you'll get the girl,
who you didn't get back then.
Oh jeez.
I won't lay in that defiled bed.
You know what you need? Revenge.
Did you want to say something? - No, no.
You're a free woman, you do what you want.
I'm happily married.
I can sew my own buttons, fix my socks.
I'll scrub pots and pans.
I could take up knitting if I had to.
But are you a virtuoso in bed
or do you just do old people stuff there?
Get started now! - Fuck you, shorty.
No women that tall will call me "shorty"!
You know, in your age, guys,
you could start thinking about
making sure your life isn't too exciting.